she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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