You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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