I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
