3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
