He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
