Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
