Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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