I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
