Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
