I don't remember. Are we still dating?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
