If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
