Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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