I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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