I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
