yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
