awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
