I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
