I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
