Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
