I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Ladies don't puke and tell
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
