The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
