She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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