My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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