Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
