He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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