Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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