Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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