My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize