im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize