I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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