She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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