there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
