I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
operation harelip BJ is a go
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So squirting runs in the family.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize