Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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