Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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