i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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