she pinky promised me she was 18
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
