Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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