Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i think my cat just said my name.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
