How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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