Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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