she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
