You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
