singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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