hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
