Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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