Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
