i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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