do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
