i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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