Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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