she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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