Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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