If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
