Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
