she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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