he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Did I show you my penis last night?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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