So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm both gender and math confused
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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