Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This beer is not sobering me up at all
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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